about parenting for me...

Actually, parenting is to raise a child and also educate him or her in the best possible manner. The aim of parenting is thus to create socially responsible, productive individuals who make not only his or her parents proud but also the society proud as well with his/her endeavors. Through parenting a child receives education, which is totally different from the education that a child receives at school. A parent tries to develop various social qualities in the child whereas a school educates the child scientifically and in a routine manner focusing generally on his or her intellectual development. Through parenting, a person also fulfills his or her parental duties. The basic parental duty that a person has to fulfill is to provide the child or children with social development and security. It is the duty of the parents to see that their child or children are emotionally, intellectually and physically secure in the society. At the same time it is the duty of the parents to make n individual fit to face the world when left on his own. It is the child’s mother or sometimes father who undertakes the work of parenting. In some cases, this care is also provided by some relatives.

There are many styles of parenting but it is nonetheless tough to say which is the best style. What makes a style stand apart is how the parent uses it and hence it is a must that the parent makes effective use of the parenting style. In out life course while parenting a child it is a must that we explore the various kinds of style and hence it is a must to have confidence on your self; though all of us agree to the fact that when you bring a newborn home for the first time, it can be pretty scary and all of us feel that now that we are parents we should be know all that know answers to all questions but in reality it is not so. In most cases we learn how to be a parent from our parents and hence it is a must that we stop and question ourselves at times on if we are following the right style of parenting in raising the kids.

There has been much research in the area of parenting styles by the child psychologists and it has been discovered that the styles can be broken down into three main categories, which are authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative (this style basically is also known as balanced or democratic). It can be said that there is no correct style but the parents can experiment with various styles to see what style suit them the most.

A common style used by the parents is the authoritarian style and this is essentially for parents who believe in structure. Often these parents are not abusive as the mistaken belief is; on the contrary however they manage to set very high standards of behavior for their children and require obedience. They take all decision on behalf of their children and at the same time these are the parents who dominate over the major part of their children’s life. At a few instances this style of parenting can be good and it is especially so for children with behavioral or conduct disorders because they need structure and authority. Often however the effects are negative and the child of authoritarian parents has low self-esteem and relies more often on the voice of authority besides being incapable of taking any major decision themselves.

The other side of the coin is permissive parents or parents who are too lenient and who while not being neglectful or careless yet are the kind of parents who let their children make many decisions. In the West this is an accepting parenting style and it is believed to enhance creativity and spontaneity in their children. What makes this kind of parenting style effective is that these parents use reasoning rather than authority when setting limits and thus this is a great parenting style for withdrawn children. At the same time this is not suitable for rebellious or aggressive children as at times this might result in immature behavior and an inability to control impulses. The best style is often known as the authoritative style of parenting and in this style we see parents are not particularly firm or permissive but at the same time are individuals who set high standards for their children. Nonetheless to an extent they are permissive and despite being strict they leave some of the decision-making up to each child. What is a great aspect of this style of parenting is that it is a style in which parents can reason with and listen to their children. At the same time these parents are strict and if required don't hesitate to insist on certain behaviors and limits. This style definitely is effective and is greatly beneficial when used with middle-of-the-road children who are neither shy nor aggressive as it helps them develop a sense of independence and self-sufficiency.

What is a significant point to note is that in most cases the parents don't often use one parenting style exclusively but use a mixture of style though at times they do tend to lean toward one philosophy more. However there is one point that the parents must keep in mind and that is the fact that whatever style of parenting is used to bring up a child must take the child's personality into account. What may work for one child might not be successful for another child with a different personality and this is a fact that has not only been told by experienced parents but also by the child psychologists.